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"Maybe we shouldn't rebuild it. As a matter of fact, we suggested, tongue in cheek on this show, rebuilt New Orleans in Kansas, 'cause Kansas could use a little flavor." -- Bill Maher, Real Time with Bill Maher, 2/28/2006

 

"It has been estimated that the cost of American workers, goofing off because they are watching the March Madness basketball stuff, has been so far, $3.8 billion in lost productivity. Now I personally do not follow sports on a college level, but I must admit I took some satisfaction and turning on the TV and hearing someone say "Kansas has been eliminated!" Oh I kid the red states, they know I love them." -- Bill Maher, Real Time with Bill Maher, 3/28/2006

 

(From blogthings.com)

You Know You're From Kansas When...

You've been hit by enough tornados to know there is no such thing as Oz You can properly pronounce Salina, Basehor, Schoenchen, Olathe & Osawatomie A shotgun is your idea of instant messaging. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply You're ready to shoot the next person who asks about Toto & Dorthy You've had classes canceled for heat & snow in the same month You support the Chiefs through thick and thin. You have to travel 20 miles just to go to the nearest mall The only tourists you see are on the way to Colorado You know the meaning of Rock Chalk Jayhawk. Your closest neighbor is more than a mile away, and you can still see him from your front porch. The terms Sooners, Huskers and Missouri Tigers cause the hairs on the back of your neck to stand up straight and your blood pressure to rise. You are not surprised to find movie rentals, ammunition and bait all in the same store. You know everything goes better with Ranch. You know the real way to pronounce the name of Clintons state and the river... arKANSAS. You never met any celebrities. (Bob Dole isn't a celebrity, he's your neighbor.) You prefer the Little Apple over the Big Apple as a place to live. You had at least one summer job that was bucking bails or custom cutting. You understand the difference between 3.2 and 6 point, and more than once you've made a beer run to another state. You know in your heart that K-State can beat Oklahoma in football. You call that smell coming from the feed yards "money." You know that Mt. Oread is really only just a hill. Down south means Oklahoma. You can properly pronounce Basehor, Cimmeron, Schoenchen, Kechi, Chautauqua, Arkalalah, and Osawatomie. You really do think Sunflowers are beautiful. You went to skating parties as a kid. You'll pay for your kids to go to college...unless they want to go to OU or NU. Your earliest driving lessons were in a field while picking up hay. Your excuse for being late is the cows got out, and the boss accepts it MANY times Your main drag in town is two blocks long. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Kansas.

 

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